Cancer

I have never had the experience to have someone in my famiy be diagnosed with any type of cancer. This year, you could say was my first experience with this disease, when i went to work for an insurance agency owner who's little 3 yr old was diagnosed last december. That was the closest I had come to this disease being present in my life.......until today.

I received a call about 2pm, my good friend who I have known now for about 5 years, Maribel called to 'talk'. She never calls just to talk, she is always calling to see when I'm coming by to make a payment on my loan or to check something out for her on the internet. She calls me her 'detective'. For example, two weeks ago she called, Help she says. I need to get internet going in the house again and I don't know how. So I called Warner and had them get it set up. When Marco Antonio Solis came to town she was going crazy trying to find out when tickets were on sale and how much then she said she stopped and said to herself "belinda" she can find out. LOL

Today she needed someone who she valued to talk to she said. I felt so honored that she considers me that find of friend. I also found out that she doesn't have but 2 or 3 really good friends and she mentioned I was one of them. :) Thank you Maribel.

Her doctor in Mexico tooks some pics and found a lump. She brought everything back home and will be getting second opinions. Monday is when everything begins to get into motion. Mari, you're in my prayers every day and I know with my support and your other friends we'll help you fight this. I love you!

WOW What a rush

I finally was given a ride on a jet ski! I loved it so freaking much! Sunday started out with a soccer game for my brother-in-law, JR. Then we headed out to the lake. there were a couple of guys next to us that were riding a seadoo. I asked if they give rides on that thing and next thing I knew I was out in the middle of the lake. What a rush! I loved it and I have checked one more thing off of my life's list to do. :)

:( WHY?

I sit at work and look out my huge front window and everyday since last Monday I see a pretty 2001 Kia Sportgage sitting there in the parking lot with a for sale sign. I finally went over today to get a look at the price, only $2995 and it's a stick shift!

Why is my luck always like this? If only I had the $3000 that would be sitting in my driveway. Maybe I can find someone who will finance it for me, here's to wishful thinking.

Breaking up was never hard.........til now

Over the years as a single person I have made myself strong and become determined in life. When I left my husband, I returned three times to try and make the relationship work. All three times I left my job, lost my aparment, and lost all my furniture. All three times ended up with the same result - leaving him. So I vowed that I would never fall in love again with anyone. Vica's dad was a bit different, I loved him but I wasn't in love with him so when time came to break up, I was able to let him go and I didn't look back.

Since then I have dated but I have not been involved in a serious relationship since. Til I met Alonso in Dec 2007. He was different and I noticed it right away. I kept telling myself 'this can't be'. We dated and we decided to make it official and I changed in a way I swore I would never change when it came to men. I let go of all my male friends with the exception of one who I worked with on the side and even that one I was letting go of slowly but surely just because I knew it bothered Alonso and also because one day we discussed this issue and we argued over it and I told him that no I would not stop my communication with Martin for him because we were good friends. But after that argument, I stepped back and looked at it from his point of view and made a decision. I would cut ties because I loved Alonso and I know that when you love someone, you change. So I did.

Well, I guess I'm a little late. We broke it off about 3 weeks ago now and it's not due to any of what I just wrote but maybe if he had known everything that I was going thru and doing, he may have acted a bit different towards me to where we wouldn't have broken it off. I'll never know. Do I regret not telling him about my changes? No. I try not to regret things but instead learn from them. I never want a man to know I'm changing because the majority of them will think "yeah I told her to change, it was either this or me". I change because I want to not because someone wants me to. I also do it out of love. When I do things like this, it's because I really truly love someone and made a decision that only I can make. I honestly thought this would be the guy after being single for 18 years but I guess I was wrong again, as usual. I'm sorry momma that it didn't work out, I know you were so happy for me to have finally found someone who 'socialized' with the family.

Yes this breakup has taught me that breaking up is hard to do, but as once before, I will get over this. For now, til I am over it, I'll continue to live as I can. Trying to keep myself busy and not think about him, I try not to listen to the radio either, too many songs that we both liked and tears start to fill my eyes. I think what makes it even harder is that I don't have my mother to see or call and talk to her about it. Hell I can't even get through typing this without crying. LOL I'm glad to see that I'm not as hard as I thought, deep down I do have a very soft side when it come to men, but it takes alot to bring that out in me and Alonso did just that, what no other man has done.

Pics say a 1000 words

My boss has a 3 yr old son who in Dec of '08 was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. In April a MRI confirmed it had cleared. In July another MRI showed 3 new spots on the brain and a few days later he was rushed to ER. A CAT and another MRI confirm the worst fears, the cancer had returned.

I have been sitting at my desk everyday praying for him, his family and trying to concentrate on my work. I can't imagine what this family is going thru. I saw little Nate just last week here at the office zooming down the hall with his new walker :)

This morning I arrived at work with an email from Wes. It contained a link to a slideshow of his children and I honestly don't know if I can work today from the crying just from watching this. I hope you see what I see, 3 handsome boys who are living life to the fullest knowing what lurks ahead.

ipray for little nate
http://www.mattnicolosi.com/slideshows/Oxfords/iframe.html

:)

This weekend was my Aunt Ramona's brithday party and my turn to host Sunday Family dinner.

To catch up a bit, I am now a single woman again. :( :) Yes I'm somewhat upset over the fact but at the same time happy because I rather be single than put up with some man and his bullshit and stupidty. I refuse to have a man in my life who doesn't understand the meaning of respect for himself, me and others.

Anyway, Friday I was invited out with some friends I hadn't seen in a while, lo and behold, he was there. As I was walking to the bathroom, I saw him coming out but he didn't see me. Later as we're walking to the bar, he is walking the opposite direction and notices me with my friends. He looked as if he had seen a ghost. Well, I guess he didn't like the idea of me being there and left. OH well!

Saturday, I helped my cousin clean and decorate for my aunt's party. My aunt was taking a nap in her bedroom when she called for Juanita and said she wanted to come into the living room. Juanita had her thinking that no one was coming over til Sunday and when when she came into the living room, she was surprised by all the decorations. They had such a good turnout and the Mariachis were really good (and cute).

I left that party about 7pm, showered (again) and headed to my friends party invite. There was a ranch to be blessed by the Priest and afterwards food, and live band. It was really nice and something different. Got home about 10, ate a bit and off to bed.

Sunday, woke up, helped Sabrina move, again. She moved in with a married couple who she's known. Erica got that bedroom and Michael is now back at home. :)

I cleaned my house from top to bottom, literally! Got the chicken in the oven and made homemade flour tortillas, rice and just as the rice finished my sisters show up :)

My sister D, actually showed up on time. LOL too funny, she says that she wants it to rain. Just might :)

Carmen showed up too, I see her as part of our family she's known us for 20 years if not more.

Everyone left about 9pm, got my house to myself, popped in a movie and just sat back to relax, didn't last for long here comes Michael knocking on the door at about 9:50.

I love it when I can spend my entire weekend with family. It makes me so happy to see their smiles and hear them laugh. God is good!

An Official Author

Vica submitted an original poem titled "Daydreaming" to a poetry contest and yesterday she rec'd a letter from the America Library of Poetry stating that her submission into the 2009 Poetry contest has been accepted. The other great news is that they are asking her permission to publish her poem in a new book coming out this fall titled "Inspired". She is an official Author!!!

Grand Prize is a $500 U.S Savings Bond and many other prizes for runner ups and just for participating.

I have goose bumps!