Live & Learn

Well, it's been awhile since my last post and alot has happen. I switched jobs twice and now have left insurance in the past. I am now working as an admin assist at a boot & hat store and couldn't be happier! Only thing is learning the sales part, cashiering is almost like riding a bike, you never forget however, selling the merch is something that is out of my universe and will have to learn it.

I have learned to never give up on someone until they show you otherwise. I truly believed in my cousin and that he could do better with himself. I believed him when he would sit there with me and we would have talks BUT he showed me otherwise 8 months after moving in on my offer for room and board.

You know it's hard to understand people sometimes and seems like it's harder to understand family at times. But for whatever reason he chose his path and will walk it alone. I'm not going to say I won't be there for him, becuase he's family but there comes a point in life where you just can't help family sometimes because you have to think & take into consideration your own immediate family. I love you Jay and will pray daily for you, for God to keep you from harm and help you wake up.

Ex's & Ex's:
Well, I talked and have been talking to my "husband". Yes after 20+ years I'm still married to the first love of my life but only becuase I've tried to divorce but for some reason I just can't seem to get it finalized. :( He has told me how much he appreciates me for "sacar nuestros hijos adelante" teaching them to hold their own. He has told me how he is regretful for everything, not being there for the boys and especially for me. I just told him that everything happens for reasons, we weren't meant to be is all.

Dancing almost every weekend for the past month, I have runned into Alonso and smile when I see him dancing with someone. I am so happy for him, he still tries to bother me via text but i simply ignore them so the text have become less & less. I loved that man like no other and he truly broke my heart but I'm ok now and hope he finds happiness and love with someone who he deserves and deserves him as well. I can look at him and feel nothing but happy for him being with someone and happy for myself knowing that I'm not hurting any longer.

I have lived and learned these past few months and have learned quite a bit more about myself. I have learned that you can't fix people but you can help them and be there for them when they need somewhere to lean their weary bodies or simply lend them an ear. No matter what I will never give up on Jay or anyone else I may know suffering from addiction. I will try my best not to judge and simply ask "is there anything I can do for you".

I love my family ----NO MATTER WHAT!

First Choice Power....at their BEST again!

So yesterday I blogged that First Choice helped me figure out my pay history and I pointed out to them that there was a glitch in the system.

Well, today after lunch I check my emails and find an email from FCP that they have credited my account $50 for my trouble from yesterday.

FIRST CHOICE POWER ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!

First Choice Power - My Prepaid Acct

Back in Sept of 2010 I blogged about my new electric service with First Choice Power. A pay as you go service. Well after almost one year of service I couldn't be happier!

This week I requested a pay history for the month of June. After reviewing that summary I found a few discrepancies so I emailed my contact person and she had someone call me to help me figure this out.

Well, after much discussion, we found that there was a glitch that caused my payments on some occassions to double (catching this helps them correct a problem that could have otherwise gone unnoticed).

For the month of June 2011, a month that my AC never turned off during the day, never cooled my house below 80, I paid a whopping $270! BUT I never saw it because I made a total of 7 installments throughout the month of June.

I love this prepaid thing!

2011...Alone......Again

Well, I began this year single again. I'm getting through slowly but surely. At 8:32a.m. rec'd a text message "como has estado?".....ignored it. At 8:42a.m. rec'd a 2nd one "no te puedo preguntar como te va?".....answered this one with the following: No porque asi empieza y luego me quebras mi corazon, es mejor que lo dejamos asi.

His response: "disculpa si te moleste adios"

Well, I tried to ignore it all completely but couldn't so I wrote him the following and finally released everything I've been holding inside since we 'BROKE IT OFF' last October.

no es q me molestas si no q tu sabes q tu y yo no puedemos ser ni amigos xq
a ti no te parece mis amistades ni parte de mi familia. quisiera mas que
nada poder saludarte cuando te veo pero no es posible contigo. yo soy una
persona que me tenta el corazon por otras personas y tengo mis razones xq.
tu no tienes idea todo lo q yo ha sufrido con mis hijos y toda la gente q si
me ayudo en eso años q no tenia carro. hasta un vecino me prestaba su
carro de vez en cuando. no sabes toda mi historia. yo agradezco de muy
adentro y prometi q si yo un dia le pudiera ayudar a alguien lo iba hacer
sin pensarlo pero tu me quitas mucho de eso y tambien por un hombre que no
valio nada quieres q deje de hablar con familia de mis hijos ellos no tiene
la culpa. no es que me interesa esa familia si no que los quiero xq son
familia. familia y amistades son mi vida y algun dia un hombre sera parte
de esa vida tambien. uno que sepa ser agradesido por la vida que tiene y
poder compartirla con familia, amistades, y estranjeros igual. tu ponte en
lugar de uno que es el unico hijo nacido sin hermanas, sin hermanos, sin
papa, sin madre y mas que nada sin amistades y ponte a pensar como te fueras
a sentir.

His Response: En mi vida no te buelvo a molestar ?disculpa ? Ahora si adios fui mui feliz con tigo ok honey adios adios adios

My final:
ni tan feliz xq no me aceptas asi como soy......como quien dice....tu quieres que sea nada mas para ti y yo no le puedo dar la espalda a nadien mucho menos familia. espero que un dia tu mismo te puedes querer lo suficiente para poder dejar tu corazon querer a alguien como se lo merecen...SIN CONDICIONES XQ EL AMOR NO TIENE CONDICIONES. yo te amo sin verguenza como debe de ser y aunque nunca dejastes de tomar sigui de tu lado y tambien todo le que me dijistes en frente tu familia sigui a tu lado.........eso es querer tu te quierias casar fijate que un matrimonio dice amar por lo bien y lo malo, en pobre y ricos......yo lo hice sin casarme contigo te ame en lo bien y lo malo.....pero al fin perdi y acepto por vencida. yo tengo todo lo mejor en mi vida...familia, amistades y mas que nada mi salud. gracias por desearme lo mejor pero lo tengo cumplido ya y la verdad no necesito un hombre para tener lo mejor, necesito un hombre solamente que me acompañia en ese camino tan bonito que Dios me ha puesto en frente de mi. pero a ti si te deseo lo mejor xq tienes tanto rencor por otros que yo la lleve y paque muy caro.

So 2011 here I come.........Single :)

40

This year was my 40th birthday. I celebrated by going to school. I have accomplished many things in my first 40 years and blessed along the way. Along the way I have met hundreds of people who have stayed by my side since meeting them, who have come and gone and leaving a mark on my life and those who have truly inspired me. I have endured hardships as well as blessings from above.

I have watched my three children grow from babies, to toddlers, to young children, to teenagers into young men and a young lady. I lost someone who meant the world to me and gave me life and thinking nothing but positive going forward always, making sure we kept our heads up....my friend, my mother, Lupe Rios.

I have had a career for the past 17 years that happen to fall into my lap. I never thought for once that I would be able to say I have a career but anything is possible. I have strived to always make myself better with each passing year. I reflect back and think..what can I do different?

This year I decided to try again to go back to school for one of my most desired studies.......LAW. I made it! I got in to become a Paralegal with funding and loans and have been studying since June. I plan on graduating in October 2012, a few months before my youngest graduates from high school. So in five years from now I see myself in a law firm.

I see myself traveling to see my grandson in Georgia more often. I see myself living out in the country where I have dreamed of living since I can remember.

Yep my first 40 have been quite a ride and I only hope I live long enough to see my next 40 and say I have no regrets.

Happy 40th to me :)