Sunday, September 25, 2011

Live & Learn

Well, it's been awhile since my last post and alot has happen. I switched jobs twice and now have left insurance in the past. I am now working as an admin assist at a boot & hat store and couldn't be happier! Only thing is learning the sales part, cashiering is almost like riding a bike, you never forget however, selling the merch is something that is out of my universe and will have to learn it.

I have learned to never give up on someone until they show you otherwise. I truly believed in my cousin and that he could do better with himself. I believed him when he would sit there with me and we would have talks BUT he showed me otherwise 8 months after moving in on my offer for room and board.

You know it's hard to understand people sometimes and seems like it's harder to understand family at times. But for whatever reason he chose his path and will walk it alone. I'm not going to say I won't be there for him, becuase he's family but there comes a point in life where you just can't help family sometimes because you have to think & take into consideration your own immediate family. I love you Jay and will pray daily for you, for God to keep you from harm and help you wake up.

Ex's & Ex's:
Well, I talked and have been talking to my "husband". Yes after 20+ years I'm still married to the first love of my life but only becuase I've tried to divorce but for some reason I just can't seem to get it finalized. :( He has told me how much he appreciates me for "sacar nuestros hijos adelante" teaching them to hold their own. He has told me how he is regretful for everything, not being there for the boys and especially for me. I just told him that everything happens for reasons, we weren't meant to be is all.

Dancing almost every weekend for the past month, I have runned into Alonso and smile when I see him dancing with someone. I am so happy for him, he still tries to bother me via text but i simply ignore them so the text have become less & less. I loved that man like no other and he truly broke my heart but I'm ok now and hope he finds happiness and love with someone who he deserves and deserves him as well. I can look at him and feel nothing but happy for him being with someone and happy for myself knowing that I'm not hurting any longer.

I have lived and learned these past few months and have learned quite a bit more about myself. I have learned that you can't fix people but you can help them and be there for them when they need somewhere to lean their weary bodies or simply lend them an ear. No matter what I will never give up on Jay or anyone else I may know suffering from addiction. I will try my best not to judge and simply ask "is there anything I can do for you".

I love my family ----NO MATTER WHAT!

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