45 Years

Exactly 45 years ago today I was given life. I was given the opportunity to become someone. To mark my place on earth and leave a legacy behind.

It was Wednesday, under the sign of Libra. The US president was Richard Nixon (Republican). In that special week of September people in US were listening to Ain't No Mountain High Enough by Diana Ross. In UK Tears Of A Clown by Smokey Robinson & The Miracles was in the top 5 hits. Tora! Tora! Tora!, directed by Richard Fleischer, was one of the most viewed movies released in 1970 .

During these 45 years I have had many ups and downs. I have been hurt physically, emotionally and mentally. I have cried, laughed, loved, and lived. I have done many things I'm not proud of but not ashamed of either, many things that have made me ME! I persevered.

Three children who thus far have given me two grandchildren. I was given the gift of watching my mother become a grandmother and a great-grandmother. A Mother who knew no boundaries, who knew no strangers and who knew how to laugh in the face of any negativity.

I have sisters who we may not see eye to eye on everything but no matter what I love them! I am the middle child, I'm the hard headed one, I'm the one who can be stubborn in my own way. But everything I do is with love and comes from deep within my heart.

The year of 1970 produced a song Ain't No Mountain High Enough. To me those words right there resound loudly in my mind always. To me THERE IS NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH for me to accomplish what goals are in my mind or in my heart. It took me 45 years to accomplish little goals that other take for granted but Lord willing I'll accomplish many more between now and my next 45 years.

I'm 45 and it's great to be alive!

43 years in the making!

43 years ago today a woman by the name of Lupe Rios gave birth to one of the three daughters she would eventually have, me and gave me the best gift any parent could evey give their child....A Life.

There are no words to describe how much I appreciate my mother for giving me the opportunity that many do not get. I was a given a life of love, sadness, happiness, tears, anger, and fear. However, when you mix all these feelings together you get a result like no other - strength. My mother made sure that we were made like her - STRONG!

My mother also gave me the next best gift - her Heart. I have my mother's heart inside me as I've been told many times by my family and friends. My mother was a very giving person and never met a stranger. I am honored to have carried her heart for the past 43 years and hope to continue to do so for many years to come.

I cannot give enough thanks to my Lord for allowing me another year of life. So many never see there 1st day of light, many don't see their first year of life and many don't see their own parents. I was allowed all this and more.

I was reminded this weekend that life is short.....very short. If you're 3 mths old, 40 yrs old or 80 yrs old doesn't make a difference to death. Death will eventually come knock on your door. Just remember you can never hug someone enough nor tell them how you truly feel for them enough. Hug your children for it may be the last time they see you or you see them. Hug your parents, take them to dinner, take them to breakfast, just visit and talk with them for 30 mins. Take your spouse on a "just becuase" date, bring them lunch to work out of the blue. Take that best friend out for an ice cream, call your sister/brother and invite them for a sandwich. Have that family dinner, get together with friends, call up the grandkids and have a sleepover.

Most importantly - ENJOY LIFE, ENJOY FAMILY AND ENJOY FRIENDS - Life is what you make of it.

I'm ME

I'm a good person! I don't want or ask for anything in life from anyone. I do things for others without expecting a "thank you" because the "thank you" will come along in my rewards later down my road of life. I don't answer to no one but GOD.

I don't and won't apologize for being outspoken, confident, self-assuring, outgoing, lazy, free spirited, shy, agressive, the life of the party, down to earth, more woman than lady, tom-boy, short, on the heavy side (BBW), dependable, loyal, honest to a fault, hispanic, american, self-starter, happy, full of energy, sentimental, wearing my heart and feelings on my sleeves because THAT'S WHO I AM.

I know how to let people go, tend to forget things, like being alone at times, happy where i'm at in life, see myself as a matured woman that knows how to have fun, don't drink, don't do drugs, don't smoke, love my children and grand children, love having parties for family and friends.

I cry more when I lose a friendship rather than a relationship, love to meet new people, cry when our National Anthem is played, cry in movies, love love stories and happy endings.

And honestly if someone has a problem with me then that's their problem!

How do you know?

How do you know when the indicated one comes along in your life? What are the signs. How can you tell if your prayers have been answered or if this is just another obstacle to overcome towards the destination you are being steered towards by the guiding hand of our Lord.

March 2013 - I met Jose and we seem to hit it off pretty good. Me and my good friend Lori were at a local Jaripeo and as usual being ourselves laughing and having a great time. The group of men behind us seemed to enjoy themselves as well and next thing we know we are all having a great time together. 

One particular man stood out from all of them for me and we began our conversation that day.  We exchanged numbers and he would eventually call me day after day until our first "date". one date turned to another and then another.

April 12, 2013 at New West while attending a dance and watching Jaime y Los Chamacos, Jose asked me to have an exclusive relationship with him. Now I honestly was not looking for a relationship with anyone. I just was tired of that game and everything that comes with it.  But I gave in.

We hit it off good for the first few weeks. The it went downhil from there. The biggest problem and actually the only problem is that he does not communicate very well with me and I can't stand that!!

Well, after going back and forth with him, in and out of our relationship. I have come to the conclusion there are worse things he could do to me. I'll accept him...for now haha. Nah seriously........I can overcome that with a lot more patience from my part.

Because in all honesty...........How do you know if this is the one!?

NEW CHAPTER

Well, my baby has finally graduated and I myself feel that I have graduated as well.  I have graduated from single mother to single adult :)

It has been a life that I would gladly repeat. Would I change anything? Well, maybe a thing here and there but nothing major...why? Because I'm me for the very reason of what I have been through and I wouldn't change a thing about me. I love who I am and what I stand for. 

I became a single mother to my son Gabriel when i was 3 mths pregnant with my son Michael. I left their dad because he hit me. No he didn't abuse me becuase I didnt' allow it to get that far. He hit me and that's all it took for me to make a decision for the better. The decision I made I truly believe was the best one because I had one son already and I didn't want him to grow up thinking it's ok to abuse and be abused. I did it for my children. I didn't love their dad any less but I couldn't have lived with someone like that.

Three years down the road I met my baby girl's dad. He never hit me but he was an alcholic, he abused himself. Though we never lived together it was something that I tried to help him with but he apparently didn't want to help himself. In one of his beyond sober days/nights he ended up with his ex-wife and got her pregnant. I didn't find out until the child was already a year old. When I did find out I made the decision to let him live with his "first" family. He didn't want to, he never did prior to that even after I wrote him a three page letter explaining why it would be best to make his "marriage" work. He made the decision to have me in his life and we both made the decision to bring another life into ours. We were blessed with our baby girl. It was a very bumpy ride but with faith I got thru it until the end of our relationship 4 years later.

It was 1990 when I became a full-time single mom to my wonderful son Gabriel, by January 1991 I was a single mother to two gorgeous boys when I gave birth to my handsome son Michael in mid-December 1990. By January 1995 I became a mother to one of the most precious little girl, Victoria. I was beyond happy with my three little ones. I finally had the real life and not make-believe.

I had heard several stories of single mothers saying how hard it was and could never make ends meet. Well, I'm here to tell you that it was not "hard", it was a struggle but not hard. Everything has to be a struggle in my opinion otherwise we would never learn how to function in life and reach goals.

I raised my three as best I knew how with the help of my mother (RIP) and my sister, Daniela. They were always helping out financially (loans :) ) and by babysitting my children and not for free either. I paid them just as I would have anyone else.  I paid for them to watch them while I worked, went out to eat with friends, went to the club, movies. Yep you read right going out.

I went out every weekend BUT not before paying my bills and making sure we had groceries. I felt after working two sometimes 3 jobs i deserved a little "me time" with friends. I love to dance and that was my out every week....dancing!

The one thing I feel I have been blessed with the most is the fact that my children have never given me any grief in my life.  You see I have friends who have children who sneek out of the house, break the law, steal, assault people, drugs, you name they have dealt with it. But my children until now have made me proud by way of keeping to school and becoming young responsible adults. My middle son was defiant at one point when he was about 15 but I think he soon learned the consequences of his actions and straightened up somewhat.

My two sons became fathers at very young ages but they have never waivered from being involved in their child's life. My daughter has witnessed her sister's (dad's first family) become young mothers as well. She has a different outlook on life from what I gather in our conversations regarding adulthood and on becoming a mother herself. 

I truly feel that I was a "responsible" single parent. Now I've graduated from single parent to single adult. Oh the tears have stopped but I still choke up when I see pics of my children when they were younger and still not a care in their world. Now I have to find something to occupy my free time with seeing as I no longer will be room mom, chaperone, volunteer, taxi.

So this is pretty much my life of the past 25 years in a nut shell. I'm hoping to achieve another 25 as an adult and maybe with someone at my side holding my hand along the way. I have Jesus on one side of me already holding my hand. :)

Graduation

My youngest graduates today and begins her journey as a young adult in our world. I am so very proud of her and all of her accomplishments thru out her life though not many but great in my book. Spelling Bee - school first place College Quest Essay - First Place Published Poet - 7th / 8th grade Band Member - French Horn - 6 years Honor Classes - Role Model Solo Ensemble - Rec'd 1's all four years I truly believe that she will go on to accomplish several more victories in her life because I believe in her. You have made me proud!! Love, Mom

The Swing

Today I am saying my final goodbye to my Tio Juan and Tia Ramona. You see my cousin Juanita Gonzales sold the house they grew up in and I use to live across the street, now I live next door and have been for the past 4-5 years. When I was growing up i would visit from time to time, would swing on the front yard swing. But it's during this past 4-5 years that I really made my memories there in their house for I had grown into an adult and could have adult conversations with my Tio y Tia and cousins. I visited many a times with wanting to talk and Juanita and Tia would always lend me an ear. It was something I had never had before "someone to talk to" someone who would never give me negative advice but helped me stay positive. This is something that I especially needed when mom passed away. My Tia and Juanita were there for me thru it all. However no one and nothing helped me more than the swing in their front yard. I became best friends with that swing, you see I would go out late at night and sit and swing til 1, 2 in morning. I would listen to the wind if it were blowing, but mostly talk to the moon and the stars. I would sit and remember my childhood years living right across the street, I could picture me and Alexa and the ABC Triplets playing our in the yard, riding our bikes. This swing let me cry as much as I wanted. Until now no one knew I sat out there so late, unless there was a neighbor creeping that I didn't know about. I would talk to God, pray, sing, I could be myself sitting on that swing and no one to judge or make funny remarks of my singing, no one to make me feel bad. There were several times when I would join my cousin and Tia on that swing just to pass the day in the beautiful weather. We had some tears, laughs and memories together as well on that swing. Today a friend of mine came and took that swing away. It's going to a new home. While they were loading it all my memories came back to me and I lost it. I cried so hard because I feel like another part is dying. I feel I have lost a friend. That swing was the last thing that kept me holding onto my Tia Ramona. I would sit there and talk to her, Tio Juan, Tia Pat, Tio Tino and Mom late at night. I can still do it from my own front porch on my rocker but the swing was big enough to invite someone to sit with me and at times I would feel a slight tug on the swing as if someone's spirit was there just to let me now they were there with me. I've missed my cousin, my God Mother ..... I've missed our talks, our laughs, our tears, watching shows together but I know I can visit her by simply calling her up. Guess I'll have to find another late night spot for my talks with mom and he rest of my aunts and uncles. R.I.P Tio Tino, Tia Pat, Tio Juan, Tia Ramona and momma.

Why am I single?

The question I get asked all the time by people, especially men I meet. Well, maybe it's because the man that deserves me hasn't come along yet, or the man I deserve. I don't know exactly to the pinpoint but i do know that some reason comes from me not wanting just any relationship. A relationship can't be made and much less overnight. It has to grow, you have to nurture it, water it from day to day with honesty, consideration, patience, love, respect and understanding & appreciation from and for each other. First, love yourself. You can't possibly love someone when you can't even love yourself. If you have no self-respect how can you respect someone. Respect the fact that they will love you and treat you as you should be treated. Second, consider yourself when you love someone. Consider the fact that is someone going to love you for what you have or can give them materialistically or are they going to love you for you and only you. Just the way you are. With all your defects and flaws. Then consider them, do they deserve your consideration? your consideration to think enough of them to be your partner in life and walk down the road with you side by side. Third, have patience. Be patient to the fact that one of you may want to move the relationship to the next level and the other isn't quite ready. You don't know the full history of prior relationships that may be the reason to hold back just as you may have a history that cause you to hold back or want to move to the next level. Some people learn from prior relationships and may be the reason why they want to take things a bit slower than others, to make sure they don't make the same mistake twice. And, just because you love someone doesn't mean you know them 100% or they know you. There will always be a dislike, conversation topic, music, movies, etc that you won't agree on 100%. If you decide to live together there will always be something that you do one way and they do another and it may irk you or vice versa. Be patient. Fourth, Understand. Understand that some people do the best they can. Understand your sense of humor my not be exactly alike, your taste in food, movies, music, clothes. Appreciate the fact that each person has their own likes and dislikes in cultures but that doesn't mean they don't appreciate that there are plenty to choose from should they want to try something new. Fifth, be honest and stay honest. First be honest with yourself and you partner. If you really don't love someone don't fool yourself into thinking you do just to lead them on to think you do. Loves grows from within your heart, mind, and soul. When you tend to have a serious conversation look into each other's eyes so that you can be honest to yourself and to them. you both deserve that much. Next, commit. Commit to yourself first so that you can commit to the relationship whole-heartedly. Don't jump in at first glance just because the water looks inviting, take your time and run your toes through the sand walking towards the water, tip toe in. But if you're going to dive in do so with your head first instead of your heart. Last but not least, make sure to let God hold your hand along this journey. He will get you thru. As Tyler Perry said in a play once, you pray and pray for a good man but are blind to the fact that you have to get thru all the bad relationships to prepare you for the good one he has chosen just for you. So I patiently wait and test waters from time to time just in case, I don't want to pass up any angels just to date the devil. :)

Why I do what I do

I am an efficient bilingual, outgoing, organized, detailed, people-person. I believe one must be organized and detailed to work in an efficient manner. I have tremendous memory skills along with a positive attitude - no matter the situation. I like to complete the task at hand however; multitasking is just one of my many skills. I am very confident of my work and take pride in being able to service clients and the firm I represent. I have eighteen year’s experience in the insurance field including property and casualty, workers compensation, claims, and commercial. I also have a total of 25 years in customer service, management, and administration including retail, business services, construction, warehouse, and translation. That is my summary on my resume cover letter. I know that when I go on interviews, people look at my resume and wonder "what does she want to do?" It's a question I get asked alot. Am I confused on what exactly I want to do? NO, I know exactly what I want to do when it comes to finding a job. I want to be to do it all and be that much more valuable to my employer and other employees. Over the course of my adult life I have self-educated myself with everything I know. My skills listed on my resume are several: ● Bilingual - articulate in Spanish (both written and verbal), and translation ● QuickBooks, QuickBooks Contractor, QuickBooks online ● Microsoft Office (Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Outlook), Internet Explorer, Windows XP, and Vista ● Detail, organizational and memory skills ● Tracking litigation filings and deadlines ● Ten key, data entry, typing 70wpm ● Alpha & Numeric Filing ● Scanning, copying, faxing, binding, and mail outs I learned QuickBooks, all Microsoft Office products, ten key, data entry, and any other skill on my own by exploring each one as I came across those tasks and over the years I have become very efficient at what I do. The one career that I have had and held the longest is being an insurance service rep. Not only did I learn insurance, but I learned accounting basics, data entry, how to be organized, I learned how to talk to people in person and over the phone. All those skills are valuable in any position not just insurance. Now, I graduated from Paralegal College recently, yes the question on everyone's mind...are you looking for a Job with a firm? Well, yes and no. If I find one I will take it and be my best I can however, If I find something else then I apply what I learned in class to that field as well. School taught me what I didn't know in excel, word, how to prepare a professional letter, how to abbreviate properly, how to do research, etc. So how am I valuable to any company? By being cross-trained and ready to tackle anything that is given to me. The best part you always have something to fall back on, because no job is fully secured. :D B.

Feburary 8, 2012 @ 3:15 p.m.

Today marks 3 years that my mother Lupe Rios passed away and left behind a 1 son, 3 daughters, 8 grand-children and 5 great-grandchildren. It doesn't seem real and it doesn't seem like I actually experienced my mother's passing.

I was talking with my sister's today since we spent the day together and my older sister mentioned how it seemed that mom would wake up and everything would be ok and I was feeling the exact same thing as I sat in the hospital room with mom. Looking at her I saw her sleeping and breathing, even if with help from the respirator, but I kept thinking in my mind, ok she's taking a nap and will wake up in a bit and we can go home. But as God's will would have it she didn't wake up to come home with us, she woke up to go home with Ama and Apa.

My mother was removed from "life support" and left us a very short time thereafter. She was surrounded by several people that she loved and they loved her as well. Mother use to always say "you know who your family and friends are by the visitors you get while you're in the hospital or come to your funeral."

Well, mom was very well loved by many even from far away from people she had never met in person. I know that if everyone that she had befriended online could have been there that day they would have been.

The Rosary service was packed beyond what I could have imagined, some people that had not met her but met her daughters and respected us enough to come show their support and condolences.

I sit many a night listening to her CD's she left behind that she would sit up at night for hours making and listen to herself while chatting with her online friends. As I listen I see her next to me "echando gritos" and smiling ear to ear.

I have so so so many memories of her and for that I am so ever thankful. Our trips to the movies, concerts, six flags, family dinners, hospital visits with our children, even if just minor she would accompany if she could. She loved breakfast anytime of the day, Mariachi music, casinos, road trips, but more than anything she loved life.

In our school days she was a seamstress and loved to sew. She would make our school clothes for us and we wore them proudly and rec'd several compliments as well. Even the day before she had her leg amputated, she made me a nice little western vest.

Mom knew no boundaries with her disabilities, never met a stranger and never complained.

She lived to laugh and she laughed to live.

Live & Learn

Well, it's been awhile since my last post and alot has happen. I switched jobs twice and now have left insurance in the past. I am now working as an admin assist at a boot & hat store and couldn't be happier! Only thing is learning the sales part, cashiering is almost like riding a bike, you never forget however, selling the merch is something that is out of my universe and will have to learn it.

I have learned to never give up on someone until they show you otherwise. I truly believed in my cousin and that he could do better with himself. I believed him when he would sit there with me and we would have talks BUT he showed me otherwise 8 months after moving in on my offer for room and board.

You know it's hard to understand people sometimes and seems like it's harder to understand family at times. But for whatever reason he chose his path and will walk it alone. I'm not going to say I won't be there for him, becuase he's family but there comes a point in life where you just can't help family sometimes because you have to think & take into consideration your own immediate family. I love you Jay and will pray daily for you, for God to keep you from harm and help you wake up.

Ex's & Ex's:
Well, I talked and have been talking to my "husband". Yes after 20+ years I'm still married to the first love of my life but only becuase I've tried to divorce but for some reason I just can't seem to get it finalized. :( He has told me how much he appreciates me for "sacar nuestros hijos adelante" teaching them to hold their own. He has told me how he is regretful for everything, not being there for the boys and especially for me. I just told him that everything happens for reasons, we weren't meant to be is all.

Dancing almost every weekend for the past month, I have runned into Alonso and smile when I see him dancing with someone. I am so happy for him, he still tries to bother me via text but i simply ignore them so the text have become less & less. I loved that man like no other and he truly broke my heart but I'm ok now and hope he finds happiness and love with someone who he deserves and deserves him as well. I can look at him and feel nothing but happy for him being with someone and happy for myself knowing that I'm not hurting any longer.

I have lived and learned these past few months and have learned quite a bit more about myself. I have learned that you can't fix people but you can help them and be there for them when they need somewhere to lean their weary bodies or simply lend them an ear. No matter what I will never give up on Jay or anyone else I may know suffering from addiction. I will try my best not to judge and simply ask "is there anything I can do for you".

I love my family ----NO MATTER WHAT!

First Choice Power....at their BEST again!

So yesterday I blogged that First Choice helped me figure out my pay history and I pointed out to them that there was a glitch in the system.

Well, today after lunch I check my emails and find an email from FCP that they have credited my account $50 for my trouble from yesterday.

FIRST CHOICE POWER ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!

First Choice Power - My Prepaid Acct

Back in Sept of 2010 I blogged about my new electric service with First Choice Power. A pay as you go service. Well after almost one year of service I couldn't be happier!

This week I requested a pay history for the month of June. After reviewing that summary I found a few discrepancies so I emailed my contact person and she had someone call me to help me figure this out.

Well, after much discussion, we found that there was a glitch that caused my payments on some occassions to double (catching this helps them correct a problem that could have otherwise gone unnoticed).

For the month of June 2011, a month that my AC never turned off during the day, never cooled my house below 80, I paid a whopping $270! BUT I never saw it because I made a total of 7 installments throughout the month of June.

I love this prepaid thing!

2011...Alone......Again

Well, I began this year single again. I'm getting through slowly but surely. At 8:32a.m. rec'd a text message "como has estado?".....ignored it. At 8:42a.m. rec'd a 2nd one "no te puedo preguntar como te va?".....answered this one with the following: No porque asi empieza y luego me quebras mi corazon, es mejor que lo dejamos asi.

His response: "disculpa si te moleste adios"

Well, I tried to ignore it all completely but couldn't so I wrote him the following and finally released everything I've been holding inside since we 'BROKE IT OFF' last October.

no es q me molestas si no q tu sabes q tu y yo no puedemos ser ni amigos xq
a ti no te parece mis amistades ni parte de mi familia. quisiera mas que
nada poder saludarte cuando te veo pero no es posible contigo. yo soy una
persona que me tenta el corazon por otras personas y tengo mis razones xq.
tu no tienes idea todo lo q yo ha sufrido con mis hijos y toda la gente q si
me ayudo en eso años q no tenia carro. hasta un vecino me prestaba su
carro de vez en cuando. no sabes toda mi historia. yo agradezco de muy
adentro y prometi q si yo un dia le pudiera ayudar a alguien lo iba hacer
sin pensarlo pero tu me quitas mucho de eso y tambien por un hombre que no
valio nada quieres q deje de hablar con familia de mis hijos ellos no tiene
la culpa. no es que me interesa esa familia si no que los quiero xq son
familia. familia y amistades son mi vida y algun dia un hombre sera parte
de esa vida tambien. uno que sepa ser agradesido por la vida que tiene y
poder compartirla con familia, amistades, y estranjeros igual. tu ponte en
lugar de uno que es el unico hijo nacido sin hermanas, sin hermanos, sin
papa, sin madre y mas que nada sin amistades y ponte a pensar como te fueras
a sentir.

His Response: En mi vida no te buelvo a molestar ?disculpa ? Ahora si adios fui mui feliz con tigo ok honey adios adios adios

My final:
ni tan feliz xq no me aceptas asi como soy......como quien dice....tu quieres que sea nada mas para ti y yo no le puedo dar la espalda a nadien mucho menos familia. espero que un dia tu mismo te puedes querer lo suficiente para poder dejar tu corazon querer a alguien como se lo merecen...SIN CONDICIONES XQ EL AMOR NO TIENE CONDICIONES. yo te amo sin verguenza como debe de ser y aunque nunca dejastes de tomar sigui de tu lado y tambien todo le que me dijistes en frente tu familia sigui a tu lado.........eso es querer tu te quierias casar fijate que un matrimonio dice amar por lo bien y lo malo, en pobre y ricos......yo lo hice sin casarme contigo te ame en lo bien y lo malo.....pero al fin perdi y acepto por vencida. yo tengo todo lo mejor en mi vida...familia, amistades y mas que nada mi salud. gracias por desearme lo mejor pero lo tengo cumplido ya y la verdad no necesito un hombre para tener lo mejor, necesito un hombre solamente que me acompañia en ese camino tan bonito que Dios me ha puesto en frente de mi. pero a ti si te deseo lo mejor xq tienes tanto rencor por otros que yo la lleve y paque muy caro.

So 2011 here I come.........Single :)

40

This year was my 40th birthday. I celebrated by going to school. I have accomplished many things in my first 40 years and blessed along the way. Along the way I have met hundreds of people who have stayed by my side since meeting them, who have come and gone and leaving a mark on my life and those who have truly inspired me. I have endured hardships as well as blessings from above.

I have watched my three children grow from babies, to toddlers, to young children, to teenagers into young men and a young lady. I lost someone who meant the world to me and gave me life and thinking nothing but positive going forward always, making sure we kept our heads up....my friend, my mother, Lupe Rios.

I have had a career for the past 17 years that happen to fall into my lap. I never thought for once that I would be able to say I have a career but anything is possible. I have strived to always make myself better with each passing year. I reflect back and think..what can I do different?

This year I decided to try again to go back to school for one of my most desired studies.......LAW. I made it! I got in to become a Paralegal with funding and loans and have been studying since June. I plan on graduating in October 2012, a few months before my youngest graduates from high school. So in five years from now I see myself in a law firm.

I see myself traveling to see my grandson in Georgia more often. I see myself living out in the country where I have dreamed of living since I can remember.

Yep my first 40 have been quite a ride and I only hope I live long enough to see my next 40 and say I have no regrets.

Happy 40th to me :)

Prepaid Electricity?

First Choice Power – Prepaid

Finally, something that works in my favor! Being a single parent it’s hard to budget from one check to the next, especially when you have teenagers in school doing the extra curricular stuff such as band.

One day I had received my electric bill in the mail and it was $265 and it was due in a matter of days to avoid a disconnection, again. So I called up the company and asked for an extension to my next pay date and it was declined because they simply don’t do that.  The Rep that I was talking to then told me to try a prepaid service. So I looked up prepaid and found First Choice Power Prepaid (pay as you go).

The service rep @ First Choice Power explained the program to me and it sounded like something that I could handle. So I made my first “installment” and the best part is no credit check and NO DEPOSIT. That just made my day.

So I began this so call “pay as you go prepaid service”. The initial amount I paid was $50 to get started. According the cost per kwh at .129 I would have an estimated 5 days worth of electricity.

ALERT! ALERT! My cell phone rec’d a text message about 3 days after I started the new account and lo and behold it’s from First Choice Power telling me that I had a low balance remaining and what my estimated number of days were left on the account. It told me how much I had used on a given day as far as funds and kWh.

I loved it! So I called up with my debit card and made a payment. No sooner I had hung up the phone that I get another text telling me my payment had been rec’d. Any faster would have burned my phone – LOL.

Since signing up with First Choice Power Prepaid, I have a better control over my electricity usage and can avoid any interruptions in service. I also am more aware of leaving my lights on so now when I walk out of a room I automatically reach for the switch. Switching to First Choice Power Prepaid has made me switch my habits from money consuming to money saving and energy saving.

Make the switch!

School

I am going to school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Does it sound like I'm excited? Well I am! For the longest I can remember I have always wanted to work in an attorney's office. Well, now I'm going to get that opportunity. I start school July 12th at ACI in Grand Prairie to study to become a Paralegal. I am so happy that I have yet to stop crying, I just found out yesterday that my application was accepted and all I have to do is show up for class.

I'm actually going to be someone in two years I wll graduate and I will actually get to wear a cap and gown.

I can't give enough thanks to my God up above for answering my prayers. As I was taught in church prayers are always answered in one of three answers: no, yes and wait.

It's true, good things come to those who wait.

On Hold

Well, I recently broke up with my boyfriend about a month or so ago. Since then I have kept busy and I find that I started doing things again. By that I mean things that I stopped doing to be in a relationship. I don't blame him because he didn't 'make' me stop doing anything but I stopped because I knew that it would make him happy so to say. So basically I put my life on hold for him and that's wrong. I promised I would never do that and I did.

I stopped going dancing (my favorite thing to do second to movies), I stopped washing my truck every weekend (he didn't like doing that), stopped seeing friends, stopped going for drives just because, I stopped caring about myself but most importantly I stopped caring about others and helping others when I could.

I loved him with all my heart and I know that he will continue to have a special place within me but I could no longer be that person he wanted me to be.

There were several times we were invited to parties of my friends and what not but he never wanted to go because he didn't know anyone. However, on his side we attended several 15's, weddings, baptisms, birthdays..etc and I hardly knew people but I would never tell him no because I didn't know anyone. That's what couples do but I was happy, or so I thought.

What brought all this to light is that I visited my best friend of 25 years. We have been through ups and downs, laughs and crys, relationships and life. She is my sister at heart. He didn't approve of my visiting her one day after her husband of 11 years left. She needed me at a time like that, she is an only child and we have always been there for each other.

I wish him all the best in what ever he may do and I wish him happiness with whomever he choses to love.

I find that I'm happier these days and I feel free when I call someone just to say Hi! or can visit them and talk over a cup of coffee. A relationship with someone shouldn't make you feel like a prisoner of that person's heart it should make you feel happy in whatever you do and not have to look back and ask 'is it ok'. Maybe living on my own for twenty years has something to do with it but just as I compromised for our relationship he should to. I was taught to put others first but that means he should too and that would mean putting me first rather than himself. Relationships are a give and take but if you take and not give anything in return then your relationship doesn't grow. It stands neutral.

I will continue to put others first however when it comes to a relationship I will make sure they are putting me somewhere at the top with others. :)

Me, Myself and I

Very rarely do I get to spend a weekend where it's just me and not have to worry about getting home. Well, this weekend I did just that.

Friday headed to bingo took my neighbor with me and we had a good time. Saturday morning had a nice yard sale, made enough to hopefully repair my truck. I decided to splurge a little and bought me a new outfit. Headed home, showered, put a little makeup on and headed over to get my nails done. Something I haven't done in almost a year! After I finished headed over to spend some time with my best friend of 24 years to watch her husband's soccer game. After seeing myself in this picture, I wanted to cry. LOL I need to do something!


They lost 0-1, took my son to get him a pizza for late dinner. Slept really well that night, I've been tossing and turning alot lately and don't know why. Sunday I treated myself to bingo, then cashed in my free movie ticket to see "Why Did I Get Married Too". I swiped my movie watcher card and rec'd my 100th point again which meant a FREE NIGHT AT THE MOVIES! Woohoo. I rec'd another free ticket but this time with free popcorn and free drink. So after watching the Tyler Perry movie I cashed in my 2nd free ticket and watched Bounty Hunter. OMG Geard is so damn good-looking and that smile makes his eyes have this look woooooooo.

Finished my Sunday watching Celebrity Apprentice at my cousin's house. Afterwards, headed home and had a very sound sleep again. Maybe that's what I need is some more me, myself and I time. :)

Have a great week!

Yoplait Greek Yogurt Giveaway

I don't know about any of you women out there but I like to nourish my inner Goddess and Yoplait Greek yougurt is one of the best way to do just that. :)
With 12 grams of protein -- twice that found in leading yogurts-- new Yoplait Greek nourishes from the inside out. Available in four delicious flavors, Strawberry, Blueberry, Honey Vanilla and Plain, the brand’s newest offering has a unique thick and creamy texture with the unmatched taste expected of Yoplait.

To celebrate its new Greek yogurt and to encourage women to nourish their inner goddess, Yoplait has teamed up with actress Izabella Miko, who plays Greek Goddess Athena in the epic adventure new Warner Bros. Pictures’ and Legendary Pictures’ film “Clash of the Titans,” in theatres April 2 in 3D.


Yoplait has generously given me a gift pack to pamper myself and made it possible thru MyBlogSpark. They have both given me an extra gift pack to giveaway to one of my readers as well.



All you have to do for a chance to win is tell me how you get in touch with your inner goddess or what's your favorite flavor yogurt.

One comment per person, all duplicates will be deleted. Must be 18 and over, USA only. Ends April 6, 2010 10am Central. Winner will be chosen by random.org. Please include your email address in the comment if its not visible in your profile. This is the method you will be notified if you are the winner. Winner will have 24hrs to respond. Thanks!