Why am I single?

The question I get asked all the time by people, especially men I meet. Well, maybe it's because the man that deserves me hasn't come along yet, or the man I deserve. I don't know exactly to the pinpoint but i do know that some reason comes from me not wanting just any relationship. A relationship can't be made and much less overnight. It has to grow, you have to nurture it, water it from day to day with honesty, consideration, patience, love, respect and understanding & appreciation from and for each other. First, love yourself. You can't possibly love someone when you can't even love yourself. If you have no self-respect how can you respect someone. Respect the fact that they will love you and treat you as you should be treated. Second, consider yourself when you love someone. Consider the fact that is someone going to love you for what you have or can give them materialistically or are they going to love you for you and only you. Just the way you are. With all your defects and flaws. Then consider them, do they deserve your consideration? your consideration to think enough of them to be your partner in life and walk down the road with you side by side. Third, have patience. Be patient to the fact that one of you may want to move the relationship to the next level and the other isn't quite ready. You don't know the full history of prior relationships that may be the reason to hold back just as you may have a history that cause you to hold back or want to move to the next level. Some people learn from prior relationships and may be the reason why they want to take things a bit slower than others, to make sure they don't make the same mistake twice. And, just because you love someone doesn't mean you know them 100% or they know you. There will always be a dislike, conversation topic, music, movies, etc that you won't agree on 100%. If you decide to live together there will always be something that you do one way and they do another and it may irk you or vice versa. Be patient. Fourth, Understand. Understand that some people do the best they can. Understand your sense of humor my not be exactly alike, your taste in food, movies, music, clothes. Appreciate the fact that each person has their own likes and dislikes in cultures but that doesn't mean they don't appreciate that there are plenty to choose from should they want to try something new. Fifth, be honest and stay honest. First be honest with yourself and you partner. If you really don't love someone don't fool yourself into thinking you do just to lead them on to think you do. Loves grows from within your heart, mind, and soul. When you tend to have a serious conversation look into each other's eyes so that you can be honest to yourself and to them. you both deserve that much. Next, commit. Commit to yourself first so that you can commit to the relationship whole-heartedly. Don't jump in at first glance just because the water looks inviting, take your time and run your toes through the sand walking towards the water, tip toe in. But if you're going to dive in do so with your head first instead of your heart. Last but not least, make sure to let God hold your hand along this journey. He will get you thru. As Tyler Perry said in a play once, you pray and pray for a good man but are blind to the fact that you have to get thru all the bad relationships to prepare you for the good one he has chosen just for you. So I patiently wait and test waters from time to time just in case, I don't want to pass up any angels just to date the devil. :)

Why I do what I do

I am an efficient bilingual, outgoing, organized, detailed, people-person. I believe one must be organized and detailed to work in an efficient manner. I have tremendous memory skills along with a positive attitude - no matter the situation. I like to complete the task at hand however; multitasking is just one of my many skills. I am very confident of my work and take pride in being able to service clients and the firm I represent. I have eighteen year’s experience in the insurance field including property and casualty, workers compensation, claims, and commercial. I also have a total of 25 years in customer service, management, and administration including retail, business services, construction, warehouse, and translation. That is my summary on my resume cover letter. I know that when I go on interviews, people look at my resume and wonder "what does she want to do?" It's a question I get asked alot. Am I confused on what exactly I want to do? NO, I know exactly what I want to do when it comes to finding a job. I want to be to do it all and be that much more valuable to my employer and other employees. Over the course of my adult life I have self-educated myself with everything I know. My skills listed on my resume are several: ● Bilingual - articulate in Spanish (both written and verbal), and translation ● QuickBooks, QuickBooks Contractor, QuickBooks online ● Microsoft Office (Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Outlook), Internet Explorer, Windows XP, and Vista ● Detail, organizational and memory skills ● Tracking litigation filings and deadlines ● Ten key, data entry, typing 70wpm ● Alpha & Numeric Filing ● Scanning, copying, faxing, binding, and mail outs I learned QuickBooks, all Microsoft Office products, ten key, data entry, and any other skill on my own by exploring each one as I came across those tasks and over the years I have become very efficient at what I do. The one career that I have had and held the longest is being an insurance service rep. Not only did I learn insurance, but I learned accounting basics, data entry, how to be organized, I learned how to talk to people in person and over the phone. All those skills are valuable in any position not just insurance. Now, I graduated from Paralegal College recently, yes the question on everyone's mind...are you looking for a Job with a firm? Well, yes and no. If I find one I will take it and be my best I can however, If I find something else then I apply what I learned in class to that field as well. School taught me what I didn't know in excel, word, how to prepare a professional letter, how to abbreviate properly, how to do research, etc. So how am I valuable to any company? By being cross-trained and ready to tackle anything that is given to me. The best part you always have something to fall back on, because no job is fully secured. :D B.

Feburary 8, 2012 @ 3:15 p.m.

Today marks 3 years that my mother Lupe Rios passed away and left behind a 1 son, 3 daughters, 8 grand-children and 5 great-grandchildren. It doesn't seem real and it doesn't seem like I actually experienced my mother's passing.

I was talking with my sister's today since we spent the day together and my older sister mentioned how it seemed that mom would wake up and everything would be ok and I was feeling the exact same thing as I sat in the hospital room with mom. Looking at her I saw her sleeping and breathing, even if with help from the respirator, but I kept thinking in my mind, ok she's taking a nap and will wake up in a bit and we can go home. But as God's will would have it she didn't wake up to come home with us, she woke up to go home with Ama and Apa.

My mother was removed from "life support" and left us a very short time thereafter. She was surrounded by several people that she loved and they loved her as well. Mother use to always say "you know who your family and friends are by the visitors you get while you're in the hospital or come to your funeral."

Well, mom was very well loved by many even from far away from people she had never met in person. I know that if everyone that she had befriended online could have been there that day they would have been.

The Rosary service was packed beyond what I could have imagined, some people that had not met her but met her daughters and respected us enough to come show their support and condolences.

I sit many a night listening to her CD's she left behind that she would sit up at night for hours making and listen to herself while chatting with her online friends. As I listen I see her next to me "echando gritos" and smiling ear to ear.

I have so so so many memories of her and for that I am so ever thankful. Our trips to the movies, concerts, six flags, family dinners, hospital visits with our children, even if just minor she would accompany if she could. She loved breakfast anytime of the day, Mariachi music, casinos, road trips, but more than anything she loved life.

In our school days she was a seamstress and loved to sew. She would make our school clothes for us and we wore them proudly and rec'd several compliments as well. Even the day before she had her leg amputated, she made me a nice little western vest.

Mom knew no boundaries with her disabilities, never met a stranger and never complained.

She lived to laugh and she laughed to live.

Live & Learn

Well, it's been awhile since my last post and alot has happen. I switched jobs twice and now have left insurance in the past. I am now working as an admin assist at a boot & hat store and couldn't be happier! Only thing is learning the sales part, cashiering is almost like riding a bike, you never forget however, selling the merch is something that is out of my universe and will have to learn it.

I have learned to never give up on someone until they show you otherwise. I truly believed in my cousin and that he could do better with himself. I believed him when he would sit there with me and we would have talks BUT he showed me otherwise 8 months after moving in on my offer for room and board.

You know it's hard to understand people sometimes and seems like it's harder to understand family at times. But for whatever reason he chose his path and will walk it alone. I'm not going to say I won't be there for him, becuase he's family but there comes a point in life where you just can't help family sometimes because you have to think & take into consideration your own immediate family. I love you Jay and will pray daily for you, for God to keep you from harm and help you wake up.

Ex's & Ex's:
Well, I talked and have been talking to my "husband". Yes after 20+ years I'm still married to the first love of my life but only becuase I've tried to divorce but for some reason I just can't seem to get it finalized. :( He has told me how much he appreciates me for "sacar nuestros hijos adelante" teaching them to hold their own. He has told me how he is regretful for everything, not being there for the boys and especially for me. I just told him that everything happens for reasons, we weren't meant to be is all.

Dancing almost every weekend for the past month, I have runned into Alonso and smile when I see him dancing with someone. I am so happy for him, he still tries to bother me via text but i simply ignore them so the text have become less & less. I loved that man like no other and he truly broke my heart but I'm ok now and hope he finds happiness and love with someone who he deserves and deserves him as well. I can look at him and feel nothing but happy for him being with someone and happy for myself knowing that I'm not hurting any longer.

I have lived and learned these past few months and have learned quite a bit more about myself. I have learned that you can't fix people but you can help them and be there for them when they need somewhere to lean their weary bodies or simply lend them an ear. No matter what I will never give up on Jay or anyone else I may know suffering from addiction. I will try my best not to judge and simply ask "is there anything I can do for you".

I love my family ----NO MATTER WHAT!

First Choice Power....at their BEST again!

So yesterday I blogged that First Choice helped me figure out my pay history and I pointed out to them that there was a glitch in the system.

Well, today after lunch I check my emails and find an email from FCP that they have credited my account $50 for my trouble from yesterday.

FIRST CHOICE POWER ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!