45 Years

Exactly 45 years ago today I was given life. I was given the opportunity to become someone. To mark my place on earth and leave a legacy behind.

It was Wednesday, under the sign of Libra. The US president was Richard Nixon (Republican). In that special week of September people in US were listening to Ain't No Mountain High Enough by Diana Ross. In UK Tears Of A Clown by Smokey Robinson & The Miracles was in the top 5 hits. Tora! Tora! Tora!, directed by Richard Fleischer, was one of the most viewed movies released in 1970 .

During these 45 years I have had many ups and downs. I have been hurt physically, emotionally and mentally. I have cried, laughed, loved, and lived. I have done many things I'm not proud of but not ashamed of either, many things that have made me ME! I persevered.

Three children who thus far have given me two grandchildren. I was given the gift of watching my mother become a grandmother and a great-grandmother. A Mother who knew no boundaries, who knew no strangers and who knew how to laugh in the face of any negativity.

I have sisters who we may not see eye to eye on everything but no matter what I love them! I am the middle child, I'm the hard headed one, I'm the one who can be stubborn in my own way. But everything I do is with love and comes from deep within my heart.

The year of 1970 produced a song Ain't No Mountain High Enough. To me those words right there resound loudly in my mind always. To me THERE IS NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH for me to accomplish what goals are in my mind or in my heart. It took me 45 years to accomplish little goals that other take for granted but Lord willing I'll accomplish many more between now and my next 45 years.

I'm 45 and it's great to be alive!

43 years in the making!

43 years ago today a woman by the name of Lupe Rios gave birth to one of the three daughters she would eventually have, me and gave me the best gift any parent could evey give their child....A Life.

There are no words to describe how much I appreciate my mother for giving me the opportunity that many do not get. I was a given a life of love, sadness, happiness, tears, anger, and fear. However, when you mix all these feelings together you get a result like no other - strength. My mother made sure that we were made like her - STRONG!

My mother also gave me the next best gift - her Heart. I have my mother's heart inside me as I've been told many times by my family and friends. My mother was a very giving person and never met a stranger. I am honored to have carried her heart for the past 43 years and hope to continue to do so for many years to come.

I cannot give enough thanks to my Lord for allowing me another year of life. So many never see there 1st day of light, many don't see their first year of life and many don't see their own parents. I was allowed all this and more.

I was reminded this weekend that life is short.....very short. If you're 3 mths old, 40 yrs old or 80 yrs old doesn't make a difference to death. Death will eventually come knock on your door. Just remember you can never hug someone enough nor tell them how you truly feel for them enough. Hug your children for it may be the last time they see you or you see them. Hug your parents, take them to dinner, take them to breakfast, just visit and talk with them for 30 mins. Take your spouse on a "just becuase" date, bring them lunch to work out of the blue. Take that best friend out for an ice cream, call your sister/brother and invite them for a sandwich. Have that family dinner, get together with friends, call up the grandkids and have a sleepover.

Most importantly - ENJOY LIFE, ENJOY FAMILY AND ENJOY FRIENDS - Life is what you make of it.

I'm ME

I'm a good person! I don't want or ask for anything in life from anyone. I do things for others without expecting a "thank you" because the "thank you" will come along in my rewards later down my road of life. I don't answer to no one but GOD.

I don't and won't apologize for being outspoken, confident, self-assuring, outgoing, lazy, free spirited, shy, agressive, the life of the party, down to earth, more woman than lady, tom-boy, short, on the heavy side (BBW), dependable, loyal, honest to a fault, hispanic, american, self-starter, happy, full of energy, sentimental, wearing my heart and feelings on my sleeves because THAT'S WHO I AM.

I know how to let people go, tend to forget things, like being alone at times, happy where i'm at in life, see myself as a matured woman that knows how to have fun, don't drink, don't do drugs, don't smoke, love my children and grand children, love having parties for family and friends.

I cry more when I lose a friendship rather than a relationship, love to meet new people, cry when our National Anthem is played, cry in movies, love love stories and happy endings.

And honestly if someone has a problem with me then that's their problem!

How do you know?

How do you know when the indicated one comes along in your life? What are the signs. How can you tell if your prayers have been answered or if this is just another obstacle to overcome towards the destination you are being steered towards by the guiding hand of our Lord.

March 2013 - I met Jose and we seem to hit it off pretty good. Me and my good friend Lori were at a local Jaripeo and as usual being ourselves laughing and having a great time. The group of men behind us seemed to enjoy themselves as well and next thing we know we are all having a great time together. 

One particular man stood out from all of them for me and we began our conversation that day.  We exchanged numbers and he would eventually call me day after day until our first "date". one date turned to another and then another.

April 12, 2013 at New West while attending a dance and watching Jaime y Los Chamacos, Jose asked me to have an exclusive relationship with him. Now I honestly was not looking for a relationship with anyone. I just was tired of that game and everything that comes with it.  But I gave in.

We hit it off good for the first few weeks. The it went downhil from there. The biggest problem and actually the only problem is that he does not communicate very well with me and I can't stand that!!

Well, after going back and forth with him, in and out of our relationship. I have come to the conclusion there are worse things he could do to me. I'll accept him...for now haha. Nah seriously........I can overcome that with a lot more patience from my part.

Because in all honesty...........How do you know if this is the one!?

NEW CHAPTER

Well, my baby has finally graduated and I myself feel that I have graduated as well.  I have graduated from single mother to single adult :)

It has been a life that I would gladly repeat. Would I change anything? Well, maybe a thing here and there but nothing major...why? Because I'm me for the very reason of what I have been through and I wouldn't change a thing about me. I love who I am and what I stand for. 

I became a single mother to my son Gabriel when i was 3 mths pregnant with my son Michael. I left their dad because he hit me. No he didn't abuse me becuase I didnt' allow it to get that far. He hit me and that's all it took for me to make a decision for the better. The decision I made I truly believe was the best one because I had one son already and I didn't want him to grow up thinking it's ok to abuse and be abused. I did it for my children. I didn't love their dad any less but I couldn't have lived with someone like that.

Three years down the road I met my baby girl's dad. He never hit me but he was an alcholic, he abused himself. Though we never lived together it was something that I tried to help him with but he apparently didn't want to help himself. In one of his beyond sober days/nights he ended up with his ex-wife and got her pregnant. I didn't find out until the child was already a year old. When I did find out I made the decision to let him live with his "first" family. He didn't want to, he never did prior to that even after I wrote him a three page letter explaining why it would be best to make his "marriage" work. He made the decision to have me in his life and we both made the decision to bring another life into ours. We were blessed with our baby girl. It was a very bumpy ride but with faith I got thru it until the end of our relationship 4 years later.

It was 1990 when I became a full-time single mom to my wonderful son Gabriel, by January 1991 I was a single mother to two gorgeous boys when I gave birth to my handsome son Michael in mid-December 1990. By January 1995 I became a mother to one of the most precious little girl, Victoria. I was beyond happy with my three little ones. I finally had the real life and not make-believe.

I had heard several stories of single mothers saying how hard it was and could never make ends meet. Well, I'm here to tell you that it was not "hard", it was a struggle but not hard. Everything has to be a struggle in my opinion otherwise we would never learn how to function in life and reach goals.

I raised my three as best I knew how with the help of my mother (RIP) and my sister, Daniela. They were always helping out financially (loans :) ) and by babysitting my children and not for free either. I paid them just as I would have anyone else.  I paid for them to watch them while I worked, went out to eat with friends, went to the club, movies. Yep you read right going out.

I went out every weekend BUT not before paying my bills and making sure we had groceries. I felt after working two sometimes 3 jobs i deserved a little "me time" with friends. I love to dance and that was my out every week....dancing!

The one thing I feel I have been blessed with the most is the fact that my children have never given me any grief in my life.  You see I have friends who have children who sneek out of the house, break the law, steal, assault people, drugs, you name they have dealt with it. But my children until now have made me proud by way of keeping to school and becoming young responsible adults. My middle son was defiant at one point when he was about 15 but I think he soon learned the consequences of his actions and straightened up somewhat.

My two sons became fathers at very young ages but they have never waivered from being involved in their child's life. My daughter has witnessed her sister's (dad's first family) become young mothers as well. She has a different outlook on life from what I gather in our conversations regarding adulthood and on becoming a mother herself. 

I truly feel that I was a "responsible" single parent. Now I've graduated from single parent to single adult. Oh the tears have stopped but I still choke up when I see pics of my children when they were younger and still not a care in their world. Now I have to find something to occupy my free time with seeing as I no longer will be room mom, chaperone, volunteer, taxi.

So this is pretty much my life of the past 25 years in a nut shell. I'm hoping to achieve another 25 as an adult and maybe with someone at my side holding my hand along the way. I have Jesus on one side of me already holding my hand. :)