Friday, January 30, 2009

Mom - Day 12

Well, today Margaret (our favorite nurse) was straightening out the lines to all the things hooked up to mom. All the lines were changed and the cat was moved due to infection. Cultures are being done to pinpoint the place of infection. Infection doc came in and said her white blood cells where elevated, sign of infection.

JoJo got to see Mom, finally! As I walked in yesterday, there was a lady who apparently had just arrived that day and had her son, about jo's age 5-6, and they allowed her to the back to see her loved one. Now wait a damn minute, you know me, I stepped right up to the nurses station and stated "Now we've been here going on two weeks and last week we asked the very same request and were denied, now why does she get to go back there?" I looked at the nurse and turned away. She then came into mom's room and motioned for me, "Can I please speak with you?" Sure, well after all was said and done, JoJo got to see Nana.

Today Margaret tells me that if I have any concerns to let them know, I said oh believe me I will voice any concerns I have, Margaret goes to state, yeah your sister told me you would. LOL


What is it about alcohol? What makes people think that this will take your pain away, when they know damn good and well it just makes you forget about the pain for a bit of time but no sooner you stop drinking and you come to your senses, your pain comes back to you full force if not harder.

You know Brad Paisley sang about it and I listen to the words and yes it does make people react differently, but I mean seriously what the hell are people thinking? I don't mind socail drinking and whatnot BUT to drink your ass off because someone you cared for has pass away? NOT!

You couldn't guarantee me the Texas Lotto or Powerball to begin drinking.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Mom - Day 11

Today, I wasn't at the hospital this morning. Last night me and Al decided we should go home and get some much needed rest. Right as we arrived at the house, he gets the call we have been dreading. His grandfather passed away.

I met this man last year in July and shortly after meeting him, he was admitted to the hospital due to lung and kidney failure. Docs told him that only about 3 weeks to live if that. Well, 1/2 year later we get that dreaded call. So we headed over to Al's apt to be with mom and family.

Mr. Hernandez was such a loving man, he accepted me right away. I would joke with him that Al stood me up at New Year's Eve to be with him when I first met Al. LOL During these past 6 mths, he would call Al and always asked for me to see how I was doing and if I wasn't around, he would tell Al "Tell Belinda I'm still alive". I loved him and he loved me right back. I could tell that when he got better last year he didn't want to go back home to Washington but he had to. If I'm not mistaken he was about 82 or 83 years old. He lived a lifetime and I was honored to be just a small part of his life. He told me that I was actually a big part of his life seeing as I was with his best bud, Alonzo.

Alonzo never knew his father seeing as he passed away when Al was very young, so his grandfather, his mom's dad, is the one that helped raise him and the two became very close. So close in fact that they called each other "Carnal" in English that would be brother. Alonzo is holding up pretty good but I think once we go to the funeral service and it's over with, it will hit him.

On my way to the hospital and work this morning, Mira, my sister calls. Someone rearended her and so here I go. Well, her damage is to the bumper in the back front headlight was just hanging there. She was pushed into someone else. The red sports car that hit her well went underneath her car so very little damage to the rear. However, damage to the gas tank cage/cover, muffler was bent causing a breakage and now when she revs the vehicle you can hear that ugly noise it makes, front headlight wasn't broken but the whole headlight broke from the base where it sits, front bumper is cracked. She was a bit shaken but otherwise seemed fine. Told her what to do before the cops showed up. She's good to go.

Mom was sedated early this morning due to her being very active and wouldn't calm down. Bloodwork drawn to check for infection. Still on venti.

Is it Monday? Seems like it from my view.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Mom - Day 10

This morning they started mom on CPAK, i guess that's how it's spelled. Anyway, it's where she is still hooked up to the venti but she is breathing on her own basically. They tested her for about two hours this morning to see how well she does and maybe they could remove her tube, but no luck yet. Her breathing is shallow and doc says prob not strong enough just yet to breath on her own.

Mom, is alert and nods her head, she gets frustrated seeing as she is trying to tell us something but we just don't understand her. :( But she's awake.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Mom - Day 9

This morning I walked in and new nurse, Olga, was being briefed on mom. I headed over to mom and said "Hey momma" and OMG she's awake. She wanted to lift her arms but they are strapped down. Cardio doc says chest xrays look much better and that they are trying to get her off meds and that's why they are removing the sedation. She could hear me, she squeezed my hand and even tried to mouth some words. I told her not to try and speak and to just squeeze my hand.

What a wonderful day!

Monday, January 26, 2009

I was his Angel...:)

Yesterday, I headed home for some duties which were calling my name all week. Clothes had to be washed, check on groceries and make sure my children had enough seeing as I will be gone most of the week and a much needed shower. After washing clothes and showering, I ran an errand to Martin's house. Now 9 out of 10 times I'll take Town East which then turns into Masters and over a block to Martin's house. Other times I'll take the LBJ 635 to CF Hawn 175 and exit St. Augustine. Well, last night something told me to take 175. As I exited onto St Augustine, there was a vehicle partially blocking the off ramp. So I slowed down to see if anyone was in there and there was a gentleman who was having difficulty breathing. So I asked if he was ok. Apparently he dozed off and sideswiped the median concrete wall with the front of his vehicle and came to stop there as he tried to exit to check the damage. However, he became nervous and began to have problems breathing. So I told him to let me try and move it for him, Al was with me this whole time. Well, the vehicle had little body damage but the front tire was flat and apparently locked up somehow that it would not move forward. So the gentleman mentioned it's a rental and so I took the keys and notice the tag and it had roadside assistance, I called and they dispatched a tow truck. Meanwhile, the guy advises I can leave while he waits and I said "No, I want to make sure you're ok and don't pass out." He keep breathing heavy and coughing. I asked about his medical condition and he stated he had congestive heart failure, kidneys and lungs were bad. Well, I waited with him for about an hour or so. Fire engine was exiting and stopped behind his vehicle and stayed to block traffic from exiting (Dangerous spot) til the wrecker arrived. Finally about hour, wrecker arrived and they loaded the vehicle and Mr. Williams was on his way.

I had given him a card from my office and this morning I rec'd a call from his wife. She said "Thank you for being his Angel." He arrived home and was rushed to ER due to breathing problems. he couldn't get his breath and needed oxygen. he's fine now.

Mom - Day 8

Well, over the weekend I have no computer. Mom has been stable and really no change. She has had a few times where her blood pressure lowers but the nurses just give her more meds and helps level out her pressure.

That was the one thing mom had no problems with, was her blood pressure and now it's what they are having to watch for her. Go figure. I have cried, prayed, cried, prayed daily. I ask for guidance, strength, but most of all for her to have peace. To release her from suffering whether it be going home to me and my sisters or going home with Ama and Apa. I want her here more than anything but I'm not going to be selfish. I want her here for thousand of reasons, she has to see Jojo grow up just like she did her other grandchildren, she still has to meet her new grandson, Phoenix. She has so many friends that seek her for guidance and counseling even if they have never met but she helps them thru their tough times. But most of all I want her here just because. I want to be able to surprise her with Mariachis once again, I wanted to give her the $100 the wanted to feed the Wheel of Fortune at Choctaw Casino for her birthday. There is still so much more I want to do with her.

Once I told mom that she was my hero. The day I found out that she helped a Mr. Gonzalez in the nursing home when mom had her leg amputated. Mr. Gonzalez was paralyzed from the neck down and had not made progress for the year that he had been there. Mom befriend him and after only 3 or 4 months, Mr. Gonzalez was moving his arms, moving his legs and seemed happier than when mom met him. She inspires me when I'm sick to not let it get the best of me. To fight and laugh always and to always find the humor in everything that happens. After her amputation, I stated calling her Gimpy and she would just tell me "Vas a ver, cabrona" We were all her Cabronas. Because of her I have learned to never let anyone put me down, hold my head up always, stand for what I believe in. I need her here with me, with us.

Lord, please hear our prayers. Our prayers that ask for strength to understand what we don't, strength to have the patience we need in the waiting process of your will to be done.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Mom - Day 5

This morning I overslept in my truck, didn't get up til about 730. :(

Checked on mom and she was moving her arm and her head somewhat, eyes slightly open, told her I was there and asked if she could hear me and she nodded her head yes. :) They started to pull fluid last night from her, previously it was only "cleaning" her via dialysis. Now they have begun to pull fluid. She has responded well to her ventilator being lowered from 14 to 12 now this morning 11 breaths per min. She has also responded well to her pressure med being slowly removed, sedation meds have been lowered as well.

Dr. Fernandes - Pulmonary Dr., says lungs look the same as yesterday, but not worse, that's a good sign. Dr. Branson - Cardio, hadn't made it in before I left, sisters will talk with him.

Thank you to all my family and friends for the prayers, and to her huge circle of friends who have all been emailing me daily showing support and praying.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Mom - Day 4

Late evening yesterday and this morning she responded to us by squeezing our hands more and a slight nod of her head. This morning the lung doctor told Daniela that he lungs seem to be clearing up and there's a possibility of her breathing on her own, however to understand that her heart is borderline. Which means that breathing on her own will cause stress to the heart causing damage or even another heart attack.

We keep praying for a miracle.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Mom - Day 3

Cardio Dr mentions chest xray is better. Might be able to ween off pressure meds this week. Still not out of the woods however. Sis, D, said our favorite nurse told her that mom can hear her. Her heart rate went up when D spoke to her.

She continues to be unconscious and will be while hooked up to the ventilator. I have rec'd so many phone calls from all her friends from AOL and I gave my email to one of them to forward emails to me so I can take them to Mom and read them. I will post how she responds to the emails.

Also, Vica wrote something for her NaNa as follows:


Never was when i thought this could happen
Never did i want it to come to this
Now i sit in an empty bliss
But Never will i leave your side
I will not leave no matter how hard i cry
Never will i go even when you voice grows faint
Never will i go not even when you heart beat starts to fade
I'm here beside you
Can you hear me whisper to you?
Never will i turn my back
how long has it been though, i lost track
Never was when yesterday was history
And when tomorrow was a mystery
but i wonder if
Today brings a gift
Never is hopefully the present i get

by Victoria Nava to her Nana

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Mom - Day 2

Mom has squeezed ours hands when we talk to her. Today they lowered her to 5ccs of morphine, yesterday they had her at 10. Cardio Doc came in this morning and advised us that her heart is only at 25% and the front of her heart has basically stopped working. We just need to wait and see if the diaylsis works and removes the fluid from her lungs. The lungs were overflowing to the point that they had started to bleed. Yes the doc advised the possibility that she may never come off the ventilator, however, there is always hope.

I called one of her friend, Pils, from her internet cirlce of friends and the calls started pouring in. I have seen how loved she is by faceless relationships she has built over the years. She has hundreds of friends calling her and wishing her well and have her in prayers. She has been a big influence to many people over the years and I have been witness to that. I am so proud of my mother and am proud to be called her daughter.

Monday, January 19, 2009


This morn Mom was rushed to ER and found that she had a heart attack again. She was taken to diaylsis and afterwards was put on a ventilator only after being explained that if not she would die. Mom had a DNR previously but I think she got scared and made the final decision to have a machine. I know that she still with us but I can't help but think that she's suffering even though not in pain and help but think that she orig didn't want this for her. However, I am very thankful for the Dr. who explained everything to her and she made the decision to have the ventilator to her her breath.

I don't know how long she'll have to have this but there is hope and she is a very strong woman. I love you mom!!

My lucky weekend

I had the most luck this weekend than I have in all my life, well not counting my babies being born :)

Started Thurs actually when I bought $20 lotter scratch off and won $62. Saturday bought $20 and won $100, took that and bought $35 more pocketed $65 and won another $50. Well yesterday me and Al headed to Choctaw Casino and I took a whopping $120 to spend and lose, in my mind right. So we arrived at 5pm and by the time I left at 1a.m. I was heading home with $1500 in my pocket!!!!! OMGatos, I couldn't believe it.

So today I figured, I'm paying all my house bills and paying off my stove. I can say right now I have a big fat ZERO balance due on my water, gas, and light. So I head over the the Chevron and get $100 worth of tickets and only won $60, so I guess my luck ran out at midnight last night. That's ok I'm a very happy person right now.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Family Sunday Dinners

Well, last year or the previous year, can't remember we had started having Sunday dinners where we would rotate whose house we ate at. Somehow that died. So this year my younger sis, Mira and her other, decided we should start back up put only once a month, which means I get to host Sunday dinner 4 months out of the year. I picked the first one, January. It will be done the 2nd Sunday in each month. So this past Sunday we got together and man did we have a blast! I made Baked chicken in onion soup, corn, fried potatoes, cornbread, and lemonade and sweet tea. Afterwards we played a card game we always love, Cucharas. Translation: Spoons. I'll have to get one of my tech sisters to video us playing one day so I can post it. But the object is to get four of a kind and when you do reach for a spoon in the middle of the table, at that point everyone will want to grab one too and the last one left without a spoon is the loser. Afterwards we played Poker as usual and Mom took home the winnings this round. We laughed so much, our nephew (14) was hanging with us and OMGatos did we have some fun, well sister D did anyway. I so enjoyed out time together that I can't wait til Feb Sunday Dinner at Mira's house.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Money Discussions are OUT!

Ok, well last night Martin came over and I had to do an estimate for Ovalle Concrete, well we completed that and we were discussing how they would pay me for the invoices for this conttract. It was either as we go for each invoice or a lump sum % from the total of the contract (which I prefer). Al is sitting there and all of a sudden speaks up and ask what are you doing for the $xxxx? I said what I always to, invoices, emails, faxes and maintain the books for this contract for the length of the project, could last up to a year. So anyway, he's like for that much! I said yes why? Then he goes into about Martin giving me some money back before christmas. Well, I work for Martin and have been for the last 7 years now. So each time that I create an estimate or invoice or fax or call or email this companies there is a charge and I usually just wait til they receive a check and then he comes and pays me. Well, in my mind I don't owe an explanation to anyone in regards to what kind of money I make or how much someone owes me. I explained this to Al and I also told him that if I do tell him about my finances then it's because I respect him and that's all.

And I let him know in plain and simple spanish under no circumstance are we to have this discussion again PERIOD.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

One of many reasons

Why I like to give good customer service. One of my commercial clients, who I help set up his business with TX DOT and his insurance so that he could have a trucking business, once gave me a Gift card to Chilis for $50. Well, today he stopped by and brought me a gift basket he brought back from Mexico over the holidays. He is such a sweet man! Candies were sweet too. :)

Monday, January 5, 2009

Happy New Year!!

Well, another year gone and another begins. Kinda late posting but, I was not feeling very well last week. Monday woke up with aches and pains like a flu wanting to come on, Tuesday head starting hurting non-stop and finally visited Baylor ER. Doc gave me some meds and knocked me unconscious for about 5 hours, during which they performed a CT and lord knows what else, seeing as I don't remember any of it. But anyway, my head was hurting so bad that I couldn't even keep my eyes open. Found out I had one hell of a sinus infection going on. Doc gave me 3 more shots and sent me home and told me to sleep for about 8-10 hours and when I wake I should feel much better. Well, hot damn I sure did.

Celebrated New Year's with my family and Al. For the first time in my life I actually rec'd the new year with someone by my side rather than alone. I have waited for this moment for a long time. We also celebrated my little girl's 14th birthday at 12:01 with cake and ice cream. Yep she was born on New Year's Day 14 years ago. Not one of the first however, she wasn't born til about 9pm I think.

Well, this year starts a new chapter in my life, as a grandmother, new goals to be made, set and accomplished. Hoping to scratch a few more things from my Life's List to Do. I didn't think I would keep up with this blogging thing when I first started but I have found that I like to share my life with strangers, family and the unknown.

This year my top goal is to meet my grandson, Phoenix, for the first time. Then to finally get my divorce from my ex after 18 years of living apart and no communication between us for the past 16 or so. Hope to have a wedding to attend sometime in August for my son and maybe one for myself along the way.

May your 2009 Chapter be fulfilling, rewarding, and full of blessings bestowed upon you and yours!